5/22 The Passion of a Generation

"What was I going to do with Italian? It would be more practical to learn how to play the accordion. But why must everything always have a practical application? Is this lifetime supposed to be only about duty? In this period of loss, did I need any justification for learning Italian other than that it was the only thing I could imagine bringing me any pleasure right now?" from Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Passion.  It's difficult to define this word because it means something different to everyone.  It's used as loosely as the word love, and it has just as various meanings.  Everyone can agree that, as humans, we should possess it.  

 In Gilbert's passage above, she hits upon a very controversial topic, especially amongst my generation (those just getting into the work place).  We have watched our parents and their parents work their asses off for our benefit, yet this seems to have had a phenomenal effect.  Their progeny have the desire the work less, play more.  For the most part, we see our predecessors as workaholics.  Everything they do in life has a practical function.  The "American Dream" is not being pursued by my generation the way it was pursued by preceding generations.  

I like to attribute this change to passion.  People are more passionate about living nowadays.  Our parents criticize us for traveling so much (which is likely a reflection of jealousy if you ask me), taking "time off from school", resisting marriage, and delaying baby-making.  In my case, it's as if my parents have totally forgotten what drove them to love the 60s (I have pictures to prove that they loved the 60s).  My generation seems to focus more on the individual as opposed to fulfilling the "American Dream" --> house with a picket fence, happy family, and a steady job.  Instead, we gravitate towards the unknown.  We are curious about the world, and there is very little that scares us.   

My parents are passionate about me.  I'm passionate about the world.  I haven't lost my idealistic views of the world.  And I'm out to conquer the world.  I'm certainly looking forward to having a career, family, and children, but the exact framework for this future establishment is not so clear.  In fact, it almost seems as if those things will be possible only if I pursue my own interests in the meantime to ensure that my person is safe and sound before I set off trying to make a woman happy and raise children.  This seems radical to my parents:  "Why aren't you married yet?"  "You've been with that girl for so long, when are you getting married?"  "Don't you think it's time you settled down?"  "Are you a doctor yet?"  "Can you take a look at this rash?"  

My response to these frequent (very frequent) questions is always the same: I'm not ready, and I'm in no rush. 

My generation is bent on figuring out what it is that they are destined to do before they pour any concrete.  In my opinion, this pursuit is both beneficial and detrimental for our society.  The benefits are many.  If you don't know yourself, or if you're not comfortable with yourself, how can you possibly support others?  Furthermore, those who are most comfortable with themselves and their place in the world also seem to be the happiest.  In my generation, more people would find greater satisfaction in making less money as long as they enjoyed what they were doing.   

The problem with this approach is that finding something you're passionate about takes a lifetime.  We all have our quirks throughout life, but to find something that we couldn't live without is more difficult. To say that we are truly passionate about something means that it is just as important to us as life itself.  Take dancing for instance.  Passion defies judgment.   If dancing is your passion, you can do it any place, anytime, anywhere and feel wonderful doing it.  You're PASSIONATE about it!  

Our parents found passion in their nuclear family.  The idea of "working hard now to play harder later" wasn't lost on our parents' generation.  My parents are just starting to explore hobbies and other interests now that my sister and I are leaving the coop.  But my generation insists on pursuing the hobbies and dreams early on, rather than waiting until retirement.  And they certainly didn't pursue the career that they are most passionate about.  Rather, they pursued the career that offered the best benefits to their family, the passion they established early on, for better or for worse. 

Hopefully, the predicament is slowly revealing itself to you.  We are all evolutionarily hardwired to want a family, but what about the individual's desires?  It's impossible to fully discover ourselves - to be totally comfortable with our attitudes, beliefs, and ambitions - at 25.  But if we dive right into family life, we may be cutting ourselves short.  From observing our parents, it seems impossible to devote ourselves to our families while simultaneously maintaining our personal identities.  And it doesn't help that many of our parents' generation are divorced. 

Obviously, hindsight is difficult over the course of a lifetime.  It would be hard for somebody to look back on life and argue that they should have focused more on themselves.  As humans, we adapt well, and it's easy to change our positions in life, so we often don't live with elaborate regrets.  When we graduate from college and contemplate getting a job, we are faced with this dilemma: What do I want in life?  The obvious answer isn't (always) the American Dream.  The rigid constructs of a wife, family, and career is scary.  So we travel.  We take time off.  We start dressing like hipsters because we have no better solution.  We delay the process in an effort to "find ourselves".  But it ain't happening.  Not at 25. 

You have your whole life to figure out what exactly it is that makes you tick.  I think we would all be better off if we began practicing balance in life from an early age.  If any one of your physical, mental, emotional, or psychological needs aren't being met, you're in for a rough road ahead.  The more experiences you get while you're young, the better, but this doesn't mean you have to cease personal reinvention throughout your entire life.  Use your powers of adaptation to take risks and try new things in an effort to fine-tune your self-definition until the day you die.  Maintaining your own personal identity is just as important as maintaining the welfare of your family, and, in fact, your significant other and family may actually be instrumental in helping you find your path in life if you got off to a good start while young.  Finding your passions in life should begin when you're young, snowball in through middle age, and distill when you're an old, healthy man or woman. 

Start early, finish late, reconfigure along the way.